wow man, its real hot here in the valley. had i the foresight to know that i would get two extra workfree hours tonight AND i was going to sleep through my business meeting this morning, i would have just hit the beach like any sane person would. but NEEEOOOHHHWWW.

im here sweating, ready for work two hours early, and blubbering up by the minute due to extreme beer consumption last night. damn.

i woke up this morning and could not resist the urge to peel my sunburned hubby's back into pure shredded glory. that still grosses me out, but the compulsion. oh the urges. i cannot begin to fight them.

speaking of gross, i have just simply left the housework to the gnomes and i suppose they are just as sloven and lazy as i am cuz this place = teh ruin. i guess i could use these two extra hours to put a dent in the sickness of it all.

yes, i will.

after i lay around for fifty five minutes wallowing in my beer belly...

and the heat of course.

becky*

sigh.

smitten again and again. i forget what you childless couples have. not that the fruits of motherhood are not worth the extra work...

but its damned awesome to be relaxed in this way.

becky*

i keep wondering just how to admit the depths to which my good judgment sunk this weekend, but there are no words.

pointedly, there are remnants of my misbehavior that keep surfacing. and of course, the wee memories that do sneak in from the pit of blackness that is afterwork shot taking w/o supervision..

but i resolve to simply pretend it didnt happen. only the chola in the barrio who saw me driving around at four am w/ my sunglasses on cuz i couldnt find my prescription glasses...holding my cell phone getting directions cuz i couldnt find my way home...knows just how dangerous i have become.

so yah, i mean...im drunk. been drunk. many times. i am lucky it all turned out safely and w/o legal incident. i suppose a chauffer is in order. or a stiff mandate on afterwork drinkin. thank god my honey is comin' home. he keeps me safe from myself.

in other news, two emergency vehicles just drove past my house alit. this is the second time in two nights...

i wonder who's dyin'.

bex*

knees

one of our good friends recently snapped not one but both his ACL tendons in his knees. after a week in county general, he is at our house taking his first shower - legs in swollen planks in front of him - in the bathroom in our bedroom. i have to wake up so freagin early tomorrow...

i suppose this is where my selfish side kicks in and my kind and caring friend side retreats.

blah, i'll lay in the spare bed and try to sleep, even if the hubs is out burning the midnight oil from both ends of the candle.

that and my ass muscles are sore for some bizarre and unknown reason.

yay for crotchety evenings!

i need some chips for my grouchamole.

becky*

i could try to remember to be as content and appreciative as i was today and i think life would be a heckload more enjoyable.

of course, im simply stoked to have been able to experience the moments i did...

im a little concerned with the idea that summer has hit and i havent planned about thirty different escapes into immaturity already...

getting DRUNK is no longer a goal, but a regret. staying out all night is something i keep secret, or blurt out in a fit of fatigue cuz im at work and im sipping a whiskey in a coffee mug so no one knows i have to in order to stay coherent...but still. sleep is gold and i hoard it like a little evil gnome with hairy knuckles and a bad cardigan. my gold. mine.

so yeah, i think...maybe its cuz im a mom. but dude, ive been a mom for ten years and i have had ten summers as a mom which included many a night of debauchery and shameless celebration. loud, repetitive, girl kissing celebration mind you.

so what's up with this?

i want to float on rafts and drink light beer so i dont get buzzed.
i want to paint walls and grill stuff.
i want to skip off and see bands play.
i want to host yard movies and visit family.

is that so wrong that im worried about it?

becky*

my gullet is full of veggie burger. my face break out now that im not on the damned pill. i wrote a really stupid song about my period. since no one reads this journal. im writing it here:

to the tune of simon and garfunkle's "sound of silence"

hello aunt flo my old friend
it seems you've stained my jeans again
because you're so goddam fleeting
i never know when i am bleeding

so next month, im avoiding this redhell
install a bell

ok i made that really lame last part up cuz here i am unable to just keep repeating the first verse OVER and OVER and OVER in my head...

cuz you know, i am my worst enemy and all.

becketh*