yesterday we went to disneyland. normally, its any combination of lucas, marin, myself and a random friend thrown in. this time was the same, including some distant friends of ours and their three children - two being under five and one girl around marin's age.

i dont care too much for the couple, really...stemming back to an incident right around when lucas proposed and i was showing my ring...apparently she had gotten a ring like mine and "made dave take it back because it wasn't big enough"...uh uh, bitch. keep shit like that to yourself. of course, this is catty...but hey, im a chick. and fuck her.

anyways, it was nice to have another girl marin's age for her to cruise with.

in any case, it was an awesome day at the d. we stayed til it closed...meandered about mostly only riding a few rides...stopped in the grand cali lobby a few times for some cocktails, rode the water ride with the hubs and only got slightly doused...actually found healthy food to eat. good times.

slept like the dead on the way home. walked in to find that my dog had shat the map of the hawaiian islands on my floor.

i think i finally cracked while cleaning up kuai.

good times.

in other pet news, my kitty is sick. i hope its not the hiv.

he has an appt. tomorrow. keep your paws crossed.

becky*

im in a mood. today is my first day off in awhile, and its been like...satan's fart hot here (shuddup, austin) and ive been working in the pub that has an air condition big enough to cool...oh i dunno...a winnebago?

so today i slept WAY in, woke up, watched some tube with marin, toyed around with the dog and the grom on the carpet...dipped in the pool, swam a few laps and now im pretty sure i should be vacuuming or god forbid...unpacking? its only been four months and i have a room full of boxes that sit here full of crap i should probably just throw away considering their contents have been unneeded for this long...

but you know, i hate wasting a day off being productive. and i just feel so blah right now.

not sure exactly what i need to do to feel less frumpy. i really have no money to go shopping for new gear, and i think with my current set of emotions, dressing rooms would only ruin me further.

champagne aint doin it. perhaps its the location.

im guessing a forced trip to the beach for sunset is in order. gon' bring the hound, and the grom and hopefully the man if he'll actually come with me.

i guess i'll have a shower, do some primping, and then push for oceanside antics this evening.

sigh.

so hard not to go into paroxysms of schoolgirl envy which is the sponsorship for this month's hormonal tirade. i work with this wonderful girl. sirentastic lady who melts everyone in her path, including me. yes she's gorgeous. yes she's personable. yes she's immediately the center of attention...which is fine. i mean, i have a lot of that goin' on as well...

but does she have to fit into hot ass jeans and have enormously expensive fake boobs?

see, ew. im already annoying myself.

i mean, she friggin jogs daily, eats right, drinks light beer, snorts coke regularly...haha...good lord.

what a world.

i love la.

not.

becky*

comic i read today:

two welldrawn people, holding hands...we're talkin wispy limbs..good shading. an endearing illustration.

bubble thoughts over their heads:

her: should i dump him now

him: should i dump her now

byline: soulmates.

damn it, i laughed til i nearly convulsed.

saw pearl jam at the santa barbara bowl last night. we had such a good time...

the drive there was incredible all coastline and sunshine and minimal traffic. helped lucas shed his stressful skin and soon we were chatting and laughing like we do so well sans responsibility. stopped in lovely summerland just as we hit a small patch of traffic on the way into sb. a liquor sign caught my eye and soon we were nestled happily into an adorable bar aptly named 'the nugget' eating yummy sandwiches, conversing with the jovial debbie and nursing our adequately poured knob creek and cokes...all abuzz with the upcoming evening's musical promise.

we left the bar, picked up our own liquid refreshment to pound on the way in, and made our way to find parking. after a brisk hike up to the venue, a long wristband line, a quick frisk n search...we were in. just in time to catch the break between opening band and pj. now im not that big of a fan, but the tickets were a gift to lucas for his birthday a couple months ago. i had no expectation but to be his companion...but i cant say i didnt eventually sink into full on fanmode when they played all the favs, a couple i didnt recognize but that lucas loved and held me close while he sang...we watched the sun go down on santa barbara with the ocean in the distance and finally found two seats together after much wandering (our tix werent together and we didnt wanna seperate), made some friends, smoked some herb, and then cattled out of there to wander around and found our ride (i told him we would get lost)...

we finally got a lift from an antique limo/taxi and headed home in a bit of a fog, but gratefully the walk to find our car helped to lessen the liquor load a great deal...

all in all, i'd FULLY go see pearl jam again. great show, tight as hell tunes, and eddie sings oh he sings.

we're back to the bowl in a few weeks to catch ben harper and damien marley...good good seats this time and it couldn't be sooner...

yay for birthday gifts being good and workin out and all the lovely thank you's he whispered to me. what goodlove. what a good time.

becky*

the silence is disappearing, already
in my head i have let it go - each second
counted dilligence while i plan the next
and then slipping into void, into the hurried past
another day, another chance i missed
ignored, lost, surrendered
in order to loll about and sigh
and mutter annoyances at the quiet moving by.

spotted aftermath of too much everything. and too much to do after you're done doing everything. my cell phone battery is dead, and i know there are messages. from friends i do not call enough, from the littlehead, from my student loan working to get they money back.

and im just so fed up with my lack of ability to face and cope and answer and call back. i just want to go to bed. to the pub. to the spa. to the store. i want to vacuum and go swimming or watch movies or get some play.

i want to dig into boxes and make pretty things. i want to do all of these things and then i do not want to do ANYTHING at all.

such a quandry. such a goddam quandry.

i know i just need sleep. i know this, but i cant allow it. i'll just lie there and count the numbers on my list of to dos and things that do not get done. i'll count them and i'll get pissed at myself.

and i wont sleep.

becky*

somehow i have contracted conjunctivitis. snotty eyes are hott. and itchy. and kinda light sensitive.

oh yeah, did i mention i have to work today. this day of national holiday? yep. i sure do.

i spoze a bartender wearing sunglasses and washing her wrinkled hands every four seconds isnt that bad.

sigh.

becky*