spotted aftermath of too much everything. and too much to do after you're done doing everything. my cell phone battery is dead, and i know there are messages. from friends i do not call enough, from the littlehead, from my student loan working to get they money back.

and im just so fed up with my lack of ability to face and cope and answer and call back. i just want to go to bed. to the pub. to the spa. to the store. i want to vacuum and go swimming or watch movies or get some play.

i want to dig into boxes and make pretty things. i want to do all of these things and then i do not want to do ANYTHING at all.

such a quandry. such a goddam quandry.

i know i just need sleep. i know this, but i cant allow it. i'll just lie there and count the numbers on my list of to dos and things that do not get done. i'll count them and i'll get pissed at myself.

and i wont sleep.

becky*